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Editorial

I Don’t Want To “Meet” The Monied White People Going Off Grid, Thanks

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Well, isn’t that nice. Podbert and R’lyeh McMayo just leveraged Podbert’s inheritance into fifteen acres in New Hampshire that they’re turning into a for-profit soy farm! Arn Rand, a highly vocal and thrice-divorced libertarian just cashed in his 401k from 20 dehumanizing years at the wealth extraction factory, and used it to impulsively and messily homestead! Ragnar Ragnaragnar, formerly Eric Boring, got his 22andMe results back, and since he’s 8% Scandinavian, he and his wife Brunhilde, formerly Katylynn, received 10 pristine, arable acres from Brun’s parents as a wedding gift, on which they get to play Viking Homestead™ on their family’s branded Instagram! Don’t you want to meet them? Don’t…

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The Importance of Morals and Values in Communal Living

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The topic of morality when discussing Left-Hand Path adherents can be amusing and unintuitive at best and confounding at worst. Some of the most morally pure people I’ve known, by my standards, have been Satanists. Some of the most amoral shitheads I’ve ever known have been Satanists, and proud of it. They’re a really hard group to paint with one brush, and Luciferians are even more opaque, running a gambit from Nazi sympathizers to “apolitical” occultist cryptids. Suffice it to say that religious affiliation alone isn’t enough to identify compatible co-habitants in the coming world. We have to be compatible not only in our moral priorities but in our personal…

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Our Coronavirus Response is A Dressed Rehearsal for Climate Change

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It isn’t that people don’t see the problem. If you’re alive in America in 2020, you know about the novel coronavirus. Your life has been affected by it in some way. You probably also experience a whole slate of emotions about it: fear, helplessness, desperation to do something, confused horror at why nothing is being done, despair at the susceptibility of people you know to political propaganda. It’s not that everyone doesn’t know about the danger. It’s that the nature of the danger itself has been wrested away from science and medicine and into the miasma of political opinion, where it is far easier to manipulate to shape public opinion.…

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Hail Yourself!: A Satanic Monument to Mediocrity

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Satanists have yet to master the art of monument building. I won’t name and shame here, but there’s the high quality one inexplicably featuring children, the military-themed birdbath, and there’s even one that looks like a reindeer-themed Christmas ornament sculpted from mashed potatoes, known lovingly in some circles as “Mashomet”. Perhaps the most insidious monument to Satanic mediocrity however, is a simple two-word mantra: Hail yourself! I know, I recently told you that your creased Party City robes aren’t good enough, and now I’m trying to take away a ubiquitous part of Satanic t-shirt culture, but before thy jimmies are rustled, let me be really clear about the following point:…

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Who Does It Serve To Circulate PETA’s Stupidity?

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Infamous animal rights activist organization PETA (That’s People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, not People Eating Tasty Animals as you’ve probably heard your drunk uncle bray while plunging bacon into his dude-pipe) made headlines everywhere this week with another effortless and unpersuasive campaign to get people to change the idioms they use about animals: We can probably agree that PETA is hurting more than it’s helping at this point. I was a card-carrying PETA member in the early-to-mid 00’s. I was drawn in by their upbeat and positive veganism campaigns which, at the time, seemed reasonable. They were selling proven health and environmental benefits and, of course, the all-important…

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It’s Time To Call Climate Change Deniers What They Are: Extinctionists

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“The climate has changed before.” “Earth is actually cooling.” “They predicted an Ice Age in the 1970s.” “Climate change is a leftist agenda hoax perpetrated by George Soros and the Chinese.” These common statements are either categorically false, or don’t represent anything like good faith arguments. When only 15% of conservative Republicans believe that human-influenced climate change exists at all, and 36% of Americans identify as conservative, what you have is a recipe for policy obstruction, misinformation, and thrallhood to the wealthy that is guaranteed to lead to human extinction. That’s it. That’s not hyperbole or scare tactics. That’s scientific consensus. That’s the peer-reviewed math, folks. It’s a zero-sum extinction game…

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